Diehards

Thursday, 8 April 2010

National Poetry Writing Month, Day Eight

I am very late today, but the Read Write Poem prompt was:

Valentine’s Day is long past, says RWP member Jill Crammond Wickham, but we poets must keep up our reputation as the world’s foremost experts on writing about love!
Today, think of your current love, your current obsession or the one who got away. Now come up with five or more unusual metaphors for the object of your affection/obsession: wool scarf, cough drop, puddle, half-empty bottle of red wine… Choose your favorite of the bunch and write a poem celebrating (or trashing) your love
And this is what I managed:

Power Shower

Electrically pumped and heated
to just bearable.
A daily fix to which I bring
soap, shampoo, and loofah
to scrub away the debris
the world throws at me.

And it works: for a while,
in your flow I am clean
as a newborn child.

15 comments:

Alesa Warcan said...

Relatively straightforward, but sweetly done! It looks like it was fun to write.

Greg O'Connell Poet in Schools said...

"pumped and heated / to just bearable" Nicely ambiguous. =)

Kass said...

Who is your love? Is it the shower? Are you metaphoring your love into a shower? Perhaps I'm dim. It's a nice poem, though.

Katharine Whitcomb said...

I love the extended metaphor. Great title too. Happy birthday!

Alesa Warcan said...

@Kass: "Today, think of your current love, your current obsession or the one who got away. Now come up with five or more unusual metaphors for the object of your affection/obsession and choose you favorite [...]" As I understand it, this means: think of your current lover, unrequited paramour, or lover lost; pick a metaphor for that person and run with it.
Your hypothesis was correct.

Pat said...

The last verse encapsulates loving sex - to me - which seems to fill the bill.

Rachel Fox said...

We have a good shower these days and it's true a proper, strong shower can make a person feel better about all kinds of crap! Sometimes I just don't want to come back out...I do a lot of thinking in there.
x

Eryl Shields said...

Alesa ~ it was dashed off in a 'oh my god, I've only got an hour left of the day' panic, with rather too much birthday wine flowing through my veins.

Greg ~ thank you.

Kass ~ not dim at all, I maybe took the rubric a little too far!

Katharine ~ thank you, on all counts.

Alesa ~ that's what I thought, too.

Pat ~ does it now?!

Rachel ~ we have a rubbish shower. The best shower I ever had was in a hotel in Hove, it was so powerful it felt like it was drawing blood: bliss.

Alesa Warcan said...

You'll not be the first to write swift, bold poetry, after a cup or three... In this, you are in the company of many great poets and authors... Quick check you wallet and your cigarettes! (cheap shot, couldn't resist)

Eryl Shields said...

Alesa ~ you do make me smile!

angryparsnip said...

You make me want to write poetry, alas ... putting pen to paper does not produce such great results. For that moment after reading one of your poems I think I can, it is a quite nice feeling.

Lulu LaBonne said...

... not before I wish you a very happy birthday - great flowers and power showers
xxx

Eryl Shields said...

Parsnip ~ I'm the same with running, when I watch a film or TV show in which people run like the clappers through a city I always feel like I could do it too and it does feel good!

Lulu ~ thank you, XXX

lucychili said...

showering does feel great
and happy birthday =))

Eryl Shields said...

Lucychili ~ thank you. Great name, by the way!