Sunday, 30 September 2007

Waiting for Godot

Mary has kindly asked me to share my blogging expertise in order to help those new to the blogopolis to thrive. So here are my top tips for successful blogging:

1) Never forget your own insignificance: Why do you think that anyone would ever want to read your thoughts on anything?

2) Learn from the greats: Read only those blogs that regularly get over a hundred comments. They know the secret.

3) Read the comments first. This way you will learn what to think of the post before you actually read it. This makes reading far more productive.

4) Don't attempt to set down a single word until you are utterly convinced that you have a thorough understanding of the 'greats'.

5) Emulate: Start by typing out in full all those great posts you have discovered. Do this over and over again keeping these practice sessions to yourself.

6) Emulate II: Slowly and carefully practice writing the 'great posts' in your own words. Never substitute your own ideas though. In fact, make their ideas your own.

7) Remember there are rules in the blogsphere as there are rules in life. Learn them, they are there for a reason. You do not need to know what that reason is, just that it exists.

Realising that I may have missed out some crucial elements I now ask the good Doctor Maroon, Pat and Carole to fill in the gaps.


PI said...

Eryl : I clearly need to give this more thought as my first reaction to reading the post is: bloody 'ell - I've been doing it all wrong.

Mary Witzl said...

Eryl -- Brilliant job, and you had me laughing all the way through! I especially liked your use of italics (I could just hear a boring typing teacher droning in the background there) and clever labelling of each point, though I do think that you made it all far too lucid.

'How Not to Blog' is the funniest meme I've ever seen and one I've particularly enjoyed.

Eryl Shields said...

Pi ~ My husband read this post and thought I'd turned into a Nazi!

Mary ~ I'm wondering if I ought to have mentioned at the bottome that this is a joke. I was actually thinking of my awful secondary school when I wrote it. We were mostly taught how to obey.

PI said...

Well honey I have egg on my face:)
You naughty creature - I nearly had a sleepless night. Seriously though I think it is a good idea to join in the comment box as many of us do and I still prefer it when I can see at a glance what sex and from whither the blogger hails from. Getcha next time!

Kim Ayres said...

You can always just copy and paste blog posts that get more than 100 comments straight into your own.

In fact, you can copy and paste the comments too!

Dr Maroon said...

Re your rule seven about the rules.
I'm not sure there are rules.

I live in hope of having my own flamer. All the best sites have them. Foot Eater started as a good flamer, he drove everyone mental, then he went soft and fluffy and started his own page, the git.

Dr Maroon said...

a flamer is someone who snipes constantly at everything.
I am Twenty Major's flamer.
He loves it.

Dr Maroon said...

Now I get it!

I've got to put down MY seven rules.

i understand.

Eryl Shields said...

Pat ~ I believe egg is very good for the compexion.

Kim ~ Don't think I haven't considered it!

Doc ~ Twenty Major scares me.

You can put down as many (non) rules as you like, I just ran out of ideas after seven.

All ~ The remit for this post was to give rules for how not to blog, or how to fail at blogging. I had no idea how to go about this as people seem to suceed in so many different ways, Doc's right there are no rules. And what do I know anyway.

Phil said...

I lost count of the "greats" after 2. I think that I will always be an "also ran". Sigh. Stuck in 1 comment hell.


Mary Witzl said...

What I like about this meme is that you get to poke fun at all the irritating things you don't like in other people's blogs -- or the fact that other bloggers do not respond to your comments, fail to comment on your blog, however briefly, etc. What amuses (and alarms) me, though, is the thought that some of the things I do must surely get on other bloggers' nerves...

Eryl Shields said...

Phil ~ So you are exclusive. You'd get your own plinth in Barneys.

Mary ~ We all do things that get on other people's nerves, the trick is not minding.

Carole said...

I appreciate the vote of confidence as far as the tag, but I gotta say, I think you and Mary took all the really funny stuff. The rest is just fluff. I will try and pattern my blog after these helpful tips though.