Diehards

Wednesday, 18 April 2007

Reunion



My son came to visit. Quite unexpectedly as a surprise for my birthday. I got out of the shower one evening and ambled into my study and there on the couch he was. I can't explain the joy in words, you'd have to have seen my face. There can be nothing better in life than to unexpectedly see someone you love with all your being. I don't see him often as he lives the other side of Britain. I had thought that this would be the first birthday in twenty-two years without his presence. But no! he came and so I didn't have to miss him.

He stayed for just over a week, and it was a lovely week. We chatted and laughed; he brought me all sorts of new music which he installed onto my little machine; he sorted out my computer; he ate, with gusto, everything I cooked; he got me a Nietzsche finger puppet/fridge-magnet for my birthday; we drank wine; we watched films; he encouraged me to buy a brown leather bag - not the unfathomably expensive one of a few posts back - and a little cube music player for when I run (the other one hangs up with movement). I scratched his head and he was my little boy again, for a while.

And now he's gone again, and I had to fight back the tears as he boarded the train. I miss him more everytime he comes back and goes away again. I wish he could live here forever. But of course he has to go off into the world to make his own way. That's sad, but also marvellous: he's grown into an adult human, surely what I was striving for all those years trying to get him to eat brown bread and vegetables.

15 comments:

Pendullum said...

Happy ! Happy! Happy Birthday to you!
and you do not look old enough to have a grown son...
And may I also add... You have done a marvellous job... He came home to be with you on your birthday... What a great gift...

Kanani said...

Well, you've done well in raising him. He sounds happy, thinks of you when he's not with you, comes home and obviously likes to be with you.

Oh, and by the way, he's gorgeous!

Kim Ayres said...

He sounds like a great lad, even allowing for motherly bias :)

Eryl Shields said...

Pen ~ Hello again and thank you. I chose the photographs with an eye for the detail. Bob coming home was definitely the best gift I could have wished for.

Kanini ~ Hello to you again. He is gorgeous isn't he. I do love him so.

Kim ~ Hello Pirate! Motherly bias! what's that?

Mary Witzl said...

It has been said that the only sadder thing than kids growing up is kids not growing up, and I think that is true. It is a bittersweet thing, watching your children grow. You love to see every new stage they pass and every new skill they master, but you mourn all the stages they have passed. Cliche or no, it goes too quickly.

One of the reasons I started writing is because I want to have established a meaningful occupation for myself BEFORE my children leave home, not after. Most of my friends had their children a decade ago and are now empty nesters. Watching them go through this convinced me that I needed to do something to keep the loneliness to a minimum. And yet, it'll still be tough. Though not having to wait for the shower may compensate a little.

Mary Witzl said...

Like Kanani, I meant to say that your son is, well, gorgeous. Don't tell him this, though, as I fear he may have already heard this from a number of young ladies.

Eryl Shields said...

Hello Mary, even though I am busy, busy, busy I still suffer from empty nest syndrome.

He is gorgeous but oddly he doesn't seem to know it: he'll kill me for posting a picture of him.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

My kids are just wee yet but I'm beginning to understand a little of what you mean. Having children is like saying goodbye in degrees, isn't it? First babyhood, then toddlerhood, then school and they don't need you so much any more, then one day they've gone to make their way in the world. It's all happening too fast for me.

Your son sounds like a lovely fellow to come home for his mammy's birthday. You've done a great job in raising him, that's clear. I was just astonished to learn you had a 22-year old son! You don't look nearly old enough.

Eryl Shields said...

Sam ~ Yes that's right you say goodbye to their cute chubby selves, then their needing help with making paper aeroplane selves, then their going to the school disco selves and finally you say goodbye to their child selves. But at that point you say hello to their perfectly formed adult selves and congratulate yourself on having done such a good job. It does go too fast though. When Bobsey was a cute little toddler my husband and I used to say we wished there was a mad scientist out there to invent 'runty-jecs' so we could innoculate him against getting any older and bigger.

Aren't photographs wonderful? you should see me trying to get out of a chair!

Eryl Shields said...

Bugger, meant to say Sam that I just cannot seem to leave a comment on your blog and I love your stories. I will keep trying, sporadically.

Dr Maroon said...

A Nietzsche finger puppet/fridge-magnet? You can still get those?
Not something you see in every shop. He must love you.

Eryl Shields said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Eryl Shields said...

Dr. M. How lovely to hear from you. Yes they are still available if you know where to look and are twenty two: fuck.

Carole said...

Good looking son. You are exactly what a mom should be. Proud, excited, and full of mothering. He is a lucky boy.

Eryl Shields said...

Carole ~ Thank you.

Everyone ~ I have so enjoyed the compliments generated by this post. Virtual friendships are the best.