I've just had a horrible experience. Not sure if it could be called a nightmare but it was grim. To get to it, though, some background is needed:
About fifteen years ago my husband's job meant he was never at home. Because he didn't want me to ever be stuck for money, small child and everything, he started having his salary paid into my bank account. So all the bills, being paid out of my account, were in my name. This throwback to an earlier age is still, in part, going on. All the bills still come out of my account, and are in my name, though the money doesn't automatically go into it anymore. This isn't normally a problem, he just transfers the money for the bills when he gets paid.
The conflict arises when something has to be dealt with. The companies have my name and it's me they want to speak to and it's me they send letters to. And I am not a person who either regularly opens her mail (read never) or likes to phone people up. Hell I only ever phoned my mother about three times a year. It's not that I don't want to do these things, it seems I just can't. Anyway, a little while ago some bastard in Leeds emptied my bank account the day after pay day. I went into a shop in Glasgow and tried to buy a belt, it cost about twenty quid but my card was rejected. There began a round of ghastly dealings with the bank: my account had to be closed, a new one set up, an overdraft awarded. An enquiry eventually resulted in the bank giving us the money back but what a palaver. Then there were all the direct debits to be sorted: companies needed to be notified and new forms filled out. Payments had been bounced all over the place so there were extra fees to be paid. We ended up with a bit of a backlog. We missed one or two companies and ended up being ambushed by a few enormous bills. We thought, by now, everything had been sorted. And that leads me back to today.
To put you in the picture, I work until about three or four in the morning and consequently don't wake up until about eleven at the earliest. And I'm not good first thing, not a cheery morning person. This morning I had set my alarm for nine thirty because I'm trying to wean myself back onto 'normal' time. I heard it, pushed the snooze button and dozed back off again. This happened every ten minutes for about an hour until I finally staggered our of bed at about ten thrity. I went to the bathroom, had a pee, washed my face and oxters, went back to the bedroom found some not too stinky clothes to put on, put them on. At last I made it to the kitchen to put the kettle on. Just as it was coming to the boil there was a knock at the door. Fuck! I hovered, do I answer it, tealess and droopy? I hate answering the door and often don't, I hide. But today I did and there, accross the threshold, were two honest working men who had come to remove the gas meter and substiute a 'pre-pay' one. I didn't ask why I just thought Oh my god! And had visions of sordid bedsits; running out of hot water in the middle of a shower and not a fifty pence piece in the house. They had written, the little one said, to warn me of this eventuality. The letters are probably in that pile on the stairs. 'I don't know anything about it' I say 'do you have to do it now?' 'I'm afraid so' he said. Fuck! I felt myself becoming hysterical so phoned my husband: 'Rising damp; fifty-pees, two men here IN MY HOUSE! mess, letters!' I told him. A silence ensued, I think he told me to calm down... He grasped the situation; asked for a phone number, a reference number, said 'Right I'll phone them' 'Now?' 'Now.'
And he did, and then someone phoned the wee man and then they left. Panic over for now. Poor husband had to pay a massive bill because I can't open my mail. Why can't I just do it? Nietzsche calls this state akrasia, it is the inability to act on one's best judgements.
I have a whole list of best judgements I am unable to act on: going out to buy loo paper/milk/toothpaste etc. when we're about to run out is another.
Anyone have any they might share with me to make me feel better?